. . . . I have been having a lot of trouble lately
concentrating on my school work. Been feeling… lonely and distant in thought. I
don’t want to be around other people though. I’m sure it’s just my hormones.
I have
urges and dreams…
That are always pretty bad.
But it’s
not the sort of thing, you can just ignore forever, and hope it goes away.
That need for it,
Will always
be there. Unless of course I hit a certain…
I have a feeling…
But
it’s not a good one.
Anyways,
besides that…
The
medication… for anxiety, allergies (which is surprisingly working), ulcers, and
antibiotics (I was running a fever the doctor said), has made me like… sleepy
all the time. And also,… spacey.
I mean,
I feel good. Relaxed. And kind of happy as long as people leave me be.
But. . .
Still
lonely somehow.
Needs… something….
Is it
bad to have the urge to want to take off all your clothes and just lie out in
the sun?
I’m pretty sure it is.
Which is
why I’d never do it.
But…
what a crazy urge!
To go
nude of all things!!
But it’s
all making it soo hard for me to concentrate on my school work.
I WANT TO CREATE!
I WANT
TO INVENT!!
NOT sit behind a desk all day managing user active directories
on a server…
So of
course, it’s hard to concentrate.
During
those long course lectures/videos.
I just want to be free!!!
To live
and create!
In
a world full of endless possibilities!
And
dreams!!
Is that
selfish?
Is it wrong?
These
urges?
These desires?
These…
Dreams….
~ 5/26/2019
- CLynn
