Blessed Art Thou...

                       I just love this weather!! ^_^    Warm during the day, but not too hot. And cool at night. (^.^)  Hurray, Texas Spring Weather!!!

                         Must be why Clint always wore a pancho. Because it gets cool at night. And back then, it was alot cooler...

                           

Speaking of Clint....

💕😍...Swoon...😘💖

Ya, know... if I had my choice of any fictional character...

*sighing dreamily*

Somebody find me that man! **[*.*]**

~ Crystal LM ^_~*

Lolz

               

                   

                    I wonder if this actual ad that they posted back then, actually helped them. >_>  Hahaha. It's from the Yukon Territory 1902 or something like that. Anyways,...    I just love how the last two fellas are holding cats. ^_^  Tee hee. This IS my misses! (or as Mrs. Sloakum would say from 'Are You Being Served', "It (the bird) was just horrified when it caught sight of My Pussy!")  That always made me laugh. Awful... but hillarious.



                      It still kind of irritates me though... and I know I shouldn't... but... Every time I see a young girl with a child... this is the picture that pops into my head:

I know that people aren't dogs... but...

Why didn't you use birth control if you were... 

Anyhow, I guess some of us are just... careful? Or maybe lucky...

I guess that's enough funny nonsense for one day...

well...

maybe just one more... ^^

                    Toasty Warm Purrrrrrrrrrrrritos! Lol.

ok I'm done. :-P

~ Crystal LM 😻😸😹😁🙈🙉🙊

Gah! Maybe now I'll be able to sleep the night...

                   I'm not sure why, but the past few days, I've had trouble sleeping at night and couldn't stay awake during the day... I talked to my Therapist about it, and she gave me the idea to start taking the ulcer medication in the morning instead of at night. Apparently one of it's side effects is Chronic Insomnia. Which is weird cause it also says, may cause drowsiness... So that's why I thought of taking it before bed. But I haven't been able to sleep at night because of it. And during the day, like I said, I can't stay awake. So I'ma try taking it in the mornings. And see what happens. Hopefully, I'll feel better then. I really don't like this medication. But if I stop taking it, my stomach will hurt with every little thing I eat. [-_-']

                    Anyhow, my Japanese Chicken Wings turned out awesome! Tastes just like sesame chicken. -^.^-    

                                   I might be a sloth-like chronically ill hermit of a freak, but I can cook like nobodies business. . . . . when I've got the energy that is.  (^_~*)

                                                                       ~ Crystal LM 😞😕🍛🍲🍳😎🙏

...Alla my friends say, "It's Gonna Get Bet-ehr... Gonna Get Bet-ehr... Gonna Get Bet -ehr... Bet-ehr, Bet-ehr, Bether, Better, Better..."

...always one foot on the ground...

...I can be alone yeah, I can watch the sunset on my own, I can be alone yeah...

The Healing Power... of Nature

                    . . . . [-_-] Last night... I felt flu-ish again. I'm not entirely sure what is wrong with me... I only know that something is...

                     I went to the doctor yesterday. And I was feeling fine all day... until late into the evening... it came upon me!
                      I began to feel like crap again. Confused. Confounded. Achey. And tired. Oh so very weak and tired. I just don't understand it. Something is definitely wrong here. And for the life in me, I just can't figure it out. 😟      The doctor wants to check a few things. So I will be having my blood drawn soon. Which is good. I hope to God we can figure this out.

                 --

                     While I was at the doctor's office... I was listening to this woman and this man... talk about God. The man was trying to explain that God has a plan for everything... but the Woman complained to him. She told him, (out loud in front of everyone) that she simply could not believe in God. Because she had lost her son in death. And she was robbed of the chance to ever have grandchildren. She was too old to have another child. And the last apparently, of her family line. She cried that if God existed, why would he allow this to happen? That her family should die out like that? That no parent should have to watch their child go before them.
         The man was unable to respond in his case.

          He looked to me and explained that she had been through a lot in her life. Which is why she had no faith... A very outgoing bunch, I guess.

           Meanwhile, at the other end of the room, a woman sat with her beautiful young daughter and her daughter's own baby girl. The two seemed to be annoyed by the woman's story. And looked like they were gloating over it. I'll never understand why they were so angry at the woman. For suffering worse then them.
          While they acted like their problems were worse?
           What were they so mad about?
            The baby keeping them up at night?!?

           Some people...
                                         they just... don't make any sense at all!

            The people that have... they just aren't happy! Women have become selfish, money hungry, gold diggers. That simply aren't happy unless their being spoiled rotten... Forcing decent men into a kind of slavery! One man lamented that he was thinking of robbing banks soon. Because he couldn't keep up with his wife's demands... (that was... elsewhere.)

            And men... well...

             I did find my peace once again...
                                   moments before the flu returned upon me. . .

So I wrote this poem:

                       The Healing Gift

Dear God,

I pray before you.

Night and day,

I stand beside you.

I cannot reach out,

without the strength.

Feeble hands,

return to shake.

When will men,

seek lasting Love,

instead of their own pleasure?

When will they learn,

the boundless joys found in forever?

This one cries,

a thousand times.

For every forlorn child.

How she weeps,

upon the grass.

To heal from nature's refuge.

Breath in the brisk cool air.

And feel the wind upon the trees.

Upon the banks of a water's edge,

sleep soundly in relief.

The world can't hurt you anymore.

Not here,

not in this sacred place.

You hope in something,

you've never seen.

And stones which stand in place.

That there might exist a kindred soul.

Upon the furrowed ground.

Even one soo humble,

that the rest would run aground.

That you might find them.

Waiting here.

Looking out upon the grass...

Dreaming of angelic waters,

and of holding their precious one fast.

Seizing the sunset,

for the hope which it holds.

A hope for another day,

a hope that never grows old.

For even as faithful it is,

as the sun.

It will always return.

Return to bring hope to these ones.

And a healing,

to the grieved.

And relief to the sick.

And to hold onto something,

so precious,

as this.

It is an ancient gift.

From the creator above.

Sent by millions of years,

and eons of love.

~ 02-16-17

                                                                                       ~ Crystal LM 😢😷🍃

The Struggle is REAL

                  Why does it always seem like...

When you try to do what you know is right,

people have a way of making you feel bad about it?

Just because...

They're in the wrong...

'How I do miss the days of youth.

Cuddle warm,

Like sweet vermouth.'

I usually don't like to post about the bad stuff. About the hard times. About the rough times...

…. but I feel it necessary to keep... everyone informed on my conditions.

I think it's interesting... that... because I'm striving to do good,... that now is when I should begin to suffer the most.

And yeah. I could be over exaggerating... But these are all the facts...

Lately, my depression has been coming on me, sort of like The Flu! I've been achey. I've been tired. I've been down. I've been chronically fatigued... My head has felt heavy. And my eyes keep blurring out. On top of that, because I couldn't afford the good drinking water, it's like I have a sore throat now.

If it wasn't for the fact that I suffer from this mental illness... I would sumize that I was coming down with the Flu. But... I'm sure I would feel worse if it were that.

Besides this, battling the constant fatique is never ending. In attempts to get things done.

And each step I take...

is like...

taking two steps back.

I just found out. That I will need another $1,018 to get the rest of my teeth fixed.

I can't even afford to get the registration done on my car...

$1000.00!!

I almost want to say... Just let 'em rot...

But... that's the attitude that my father always had.

Besides all that, I'm still behind in paying my student loan from up north. I just haven't been able to afford it. I owe so much debt as it is. I've placed it in forebearance... so many times... I feel like,... at some point, they're going to demand I pay up. Sadly, it would have only been $50.00 had I been able to pay this month. But with my climbing bills and everything...

Each month it's sure to double.

As for my health. I really need the money to pursue that.

I simply cannot push myself through the fatigue, to manage a set exercise routine. I'm just not motivated enough, I guess. I feel as though... I've completely lost all ambition towards life. Like, I can't seem to get anywhere... so what's the point?

But if I could just afford the gas to go to the gym, (since I have free membership through my ins.) or if I could gain a decent pair of running shoes...

And though I know I need to make it priority one to get a job, I also know that with my depression and anxiety being at CRITICAL right now, I... need to proceed carefully.

The struggle is real.

Satan is also trying every method at his disposal to discourage me from striving to stay close to Jehovah.

I really don't even want to talk about some of the... dreams I've been having. This medication I'm on...

But I HAVE to take it! I found out the hard way, that if I don't my stomach will start to hurt with everything that I try to eat. I get bad acid reflux. And... if I eat too much of anything... well... the pain... …. there aren't really words to describe it. With depression ever hastened in it's wake.

Some days... after a rough night of... of feeling like crap... I'll wake up looking like I'ld been fist fighting all night! Like...

I really am fighting!

 

Black eyes 'n all!

Crazy.

But I can't help but feel completely and utterly and totally screwed!!!

Not only financially.

But physically... spiritually... and mentally/emotionally.

God in heaven! Give me strength!

And all I can seem to think about... is... are my relatives ok?

I'm sure that they are... but... I do worry about them. They haven't wrote in awhile. It just... I don't know. But it's been weighing on my mind lately. More than all this woe.

I know that most of my problems, are probably self-inflicted... I just... feel so...

Helpless... lost... and... dizzy from it all. From blow after blow. Wave after wave of this...

If I could just figure out... If I could just... just...

I don't know.

It's almost like repairing holes in a sinking ship.

You fix one, and then another starts to burst. You fix that one, and another one gives way. You bilge one deck of water, and another goes under. You succeed at clearing the water and debris from one level, and the other gets water logged!

And all the while you are battling the inevitable downfall of your precious baby, (the ship) you still haven't gotten a single inch closer to your overall goal.

In fact, in the confusion. It seems you've lost all sense of direction.

There's no way of telling if your going in the right direction, or not.

They say that a captain is supposed to go down with his ship...

But this captain...

Just wants to get off it! I'm ready to jump ship at this point! I just want to give up.

In my head, I keep saying, “I just want to go home.” I've always said that in my head for some reason. Even though I am home. *sob* 😢

And I used to say, “I just want to live.” But now it's more like, “I don't want to live anymore...” “I just want to go home.” “Or die trying.”

              In perhaps a futile attempt to end this post on a more positive note,...

At least my hair looks great.

  Mama would of loved these curls...

It loves conditioner. [^_^]


                                                                               ~ Crystal LM 😖😣😓💫😌

-*- The Majesty of the Heavens!! -*-

                  In order to... explain the awesomeness of "Star Trek Online"... I'ld have to show you!

                                 Besides just flying around the cosmos in a ship that travels faster than the speed of light... You can also beam down to planets, explore breathtaking nebulae, battle aliens, talk to new species, trade, barter, and craft... then beam back to your ship. You can even explore your own ships bridge! And check out the holodeck. ^_^

               Fascinating quests. Earn Dilithium. Mine Dilithium. (which powers the ships apparently). Earn cool looking ships with cool upgrades that are extremely fast! ... And more...

Build an impressive crew! Promote, demote, or make them learn new skills!

Modify your ship's exterior, interior, and weapons, shields, engines, ect...

That's my ship, there... The U.S.S. Carinthia! ^^ Exploring the Delta Volanis Cluster.

. . . You guys had me at "Hello". ^_~

~ Crystal LM 👽👾😄💨🚀🌟