This is crazy, but I've decided to bump it up to two posts a day. Because I still need to transfer all of my poems here. And everyday its something new with me.
There are soo many things I can't stand about myself sometimes.
How stubborn I get. How narcissistic I seem. Self-centered. [-_-]...
The curse of the Loner I'm afraid.
But I was going to post something from my Facebook account.
I... woke up around 1:00 A.M. and couldn't sleep. Took a certain medication too soon, and fell fast asleep around 4:30 ish. PM. I'll have to start taking that one alot later, I think.
I'm beyond depressed right now.
I'm trying not to be...
But...
It's getting harder and harder to find joy these days.
I love my home. And where I live.
But outside of it, the world is filled with misery!
I was going to write here about another reason I left Facebook. . .
MEN!!!
Quote the book 'Star Wars: Tales of the Bounty Hunters.' = "...We don't need that scum!"
Lol. But that's how I feel.
I can't find a decent one among the lot of 'em. I'm starting to feel as though single decent men do not exist. Perhaps they went out with the dinosaurs... Or at least the middle ages?
At any-rate, I got tired of getting horrid friend requests from guys. At first, I thought. Well, I could be related to this guy. He looks alot like my couzin. So I'ld accept them. And then, when they message me, I'ld ask them, "Are we related somehow?"
But I quickly found out that they were just trolling for chicks. *gah* [>_<]
The ones from other countries are soo rude! Don't they know about american manners!?
You don't just friend a complete stranger. And then start messaging them right off the back! And then talk about how sad you are because your girlfriend just dumped you... right... Like I care!? But I know what they were up to. Trying to make me feel sorry for 'em, and sh*. Excuse the language. I just get frustrated sometimes.
They're just lonely and looking for a pretty girl to "comfort" them. [9_9] C'mon man. I wasn't born yesterday!
If they wanted to find a girl for 'that' purpose. You aren't looking for a friend, boyo! Your looking for a... well lets just say he should have tried one of those hook up sites.
But it does bring me down, though. How they all seem to be the same. (-_-,)
I wrote this yesterday. But it fits with what I'm saying here:
God I feel soo depressed right now...
I just...
There's soo much negativity in the
world out there.
I just keep thinking,
How on earth are we supposed to keep
the darkness at bay?
When it seems to come at us in waves?
When it engulfs us like a sandstorm!?
I was reading a post about a guy(a
witness) who was just fed up with the way that women were treating
him...
Another girl,...
felt the way I did... before...
Not sure exactly why.
They never seem to specify.
We all think that no one else will
understand. That's why we keep most things to ourselves.
But now I'm beginning to realize.
I'm not the only one.
So, I expressed my side.
And shared a similar tale.
But it's got me feeling soo down.
Because I can't help but feel.
Like that guy won't read the post in
time...
Or see that...
That it's not just the women.
Men use them to.
I wasn't aware of the extent to which
they were actually being used reached out to! And now it all makes
sense sort of. Men don't trust us anymore.
And you can't blame them...
But to punish us all...
Well...
It just isn't fair.
I'm a decent sort.
But if a good looking guy like that...
gives up on all women,
because of a few bad eggs...
Well...
I fail to see any hope remaining.
For mankind.
And I just wish...
To God himself,
that he would just bring the new order
already...
And save us all.
From this terrible world.
In which we are forced to live.
~01-30-17
So you see... this blog will prove to be... my sacred refuge. (virtually speaking) From the nightmare that surrounds us...
Your Lady in Waiting,
~ Crystal LM👸
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