Spot On...

                        Right. So I got the results back yesterday on the blood tests. Nothing abnormal. Apparently I'm just suffering from a Vitamin D deficiency...

                            Gah! What did I tell you?

                              SUNLIGHT!

                             I'm definately getting a lounge chair now!

                         The darkness around my eyes... seems to be getting worse! I've never seen them soo dark before!!  *sigh*

                            Maybe I can find a pair of shades and wear them permanently over my glasses from now on. [-_-']


--

                   "Our scantily-clad bodies evolved making Vitamin D3 from sunshine interacting with cholesterol in our skin. We’re used to it. We WANT it!  We NEED it!" Says Beverly Meyer MD from   www.ondietandhealth.com

"Of course, semi-naked sunbathing is fantastic, but it needs to be when the sun is high over head, not slanting too far.  This means those in the far north and south will get less than we Texans. Humans can make 10,000 i.u. or more of Vitamin D in 20 minutes."

o_O  semi-naked!?   Why do I get the feeling that a guy is also behind this idea? 😏

But I'll try the sun bathing thing. Just not completely nude. Even tho there's really no one that would see me,... if a plane flew over... Lol.

So apparently Vitamin D deficiency also produces fatigue, skin impairments, and a myriad of other crazy problems.

Also people with Celiacs Disease tend to suffer from it because of avoidance to certain foods. Like grains!?  Who knew?  Apparently grains also contain vitamin D. As well as milk, eggs, and other such foods.

Well, that explains it then.

I guess I'll have to get more sun. -_-'   BLAH!

In the meantime, I've been taking 5000 btu's of Vitamin D3. Hopefully that helps.

Some days tho...

I just feel like I'm cursed...

~ Crystal LM 😞😴😷🙇💊🌞🔅🔆

An Ordinary Woman

               They say that Queen Victoria... had a way of always getting what she wanted...

I can see in a lot of ways how that would have been possible.

For the longest time, she just wanted to see Prince Albert smile... Not only was she able to do that, but she was even able to arrange for him to have a title in her royal court after they were married.

I think that some things... just take time....

Yeah, so I have been watching Victoria on Masterpiece. It always comes on right before my favorite British Comedies. So I couldn't help but get into it.

Their story is such a fairy tale, though.

And I did my research...

While the show does give the viewer a birds eye view into the life of The Queen, it does seem to folly on a few small things.

Queen Victoria, as it turned out, was an extremely private woman. When she and Albert were together for the first time, they were said to have been entirely alone. And she even commemorated the event with a plaque upon the bed. But she did it soo discreetly, that all it said was Victoria and Albert and the date. So that only she and he would come to know of it.

Also...

In the show, they say that she was adamant about getting out and about, when she became pregnant for the first time.

However, I discovered, that as private and proper a woman as she was, she believed it to be wrong for a pregnant woman to go around showing that she was pregnant. She believed that that was not a very dignified thing. And that it should be kept a private affair.

Interesting. But other than those small errors, the rest of the story rings true. And I would have to admit that the casting for her character seems spot on! So I would highly recommend this show. To anyone wanting to get to know the famous Queen.

                                                                          ~ Crystal LM 👸❤💗💂😏

Further Inspiration And The Impossible Dreams

                      Whenever I start to lose hope in accomplishing anything in my meager blink of a lifetime... I always look at this and it reminds me... That there's always time, as long as your alive.

                   

Blah... Sometimes I do forget... that I am half white -_-'  and therefore need sunlight... or else I wind up looking like a member of the living dead!  Pale skinned with racoon eyes. I have gotta get a lounge chair and start soakin' some rays!

Anyhowz, I've got some running shoes now, so... I've just got to get motivated enough... and work up the courage to not care what these blasted neighbors think. (-_-')

One thing... though. When this song comes on my radio... It always reminds me...

That no matter what,... that train is always going to be rolling on by!

Every hour.

On the hour.

EVERY DAY.

Rain or shine...

So...

Might as well sing about it. ^_^  Lol.

🎵🎶Chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga chugga choo chooo!...🎶🎵

~ Crystal LM 🎵🎧🚊🚝🚇🚆💁🚂🚃

The Reason That The Spanish People... Are Crazy!... o_O

                Yup. I should've guessed as much. [>_>] *sigh*         over nine views, and not a single one comment!!  >_<

                I'm beggining to feel like I'm the one being . . . Blah!!! I can't even think of the word! (>_<#) Worst thing is, I will so remember later...

                Ah, who cares. I'm just going to go for it. I've done stupid things before in the past. At least I KNOW why I suffer so! >_<            Also, who knows, things might work out anyways, in my favor. I doubt it. But it's nice to dream.

                  Which brings me to this Blog Title:      --"--


                                            Has anyone ever heard of the old classic flick, "Man La Mancha"?

Ah... but yes!

As I was filling out applications fo work... this lovely film began playing totally at random!! Upon the TV...

This old tale, which our teachers tried to make us read in grade school,

Starring:   Peter 'O Toole        &   Sophia Loren

Had me once again singing that dard blasted song!  😝😄

Aside from being an epic classic, and historical piece of literature, it's also a very fun musical flick! And I found it hard to get that song out of my head... Despite the fact that I ended up falling asleep right after it began. But that was because I had to wake up early today to get my blood drawn... and by this time, I was wiped. So when I had the chance to relax and watch a movie, I completely conked out! But I'll eventually see the whole thing. ^_^

Anyhow, that must be why the Spanish are so crazy, tho. Because of their strong will... because despite being completely and utterly insane, (yet believable) Don Quixote had the gaul to behave like a gentleman, chivalrous, stalwart, and noble in a time when that was thought of as foolish! Of course... he was also very crazy... But... his message... Lives On!  --*--

🎵🎶...To Dream... The Impossible Dream!

...To Fight The Unbeatable Foe!

...To Bear The Unbearable Woe!

...To Climb The Unclimable Mountain...

 To right the unrightable wrong

 / To love, pure and chaste from afar /

 To try, when your arms are too weary /

... I am Don DonQuixote!...

The Lord De La Mancha!...🎶🎵

Hahaha... don't bother me, I'm singing. 😜😮💬🎵🎶

And it was "Boycotted"... the word was Boycott! >_<   See?

~ Crystal LM 🎤🎶🎵🎶👩💘✨

Question For YOU...!

                     I find it equally interesting... that since I've begun this Blog... with over 25 posts... 31 in all,... and some pictures and poetry, music, besides... Despite the fact that it seems I get visitors... no one has posted a single comment yet!     ?!? O_o

                      Not that I'd care... but... for once... I could use some advice...

                       So I thought it an ample opportunity to write my blog readers and find out what y'all think.

                       So here's my QUERY:

                                       I found this beautiful cat... Her name is Nala

And this is her bio:

Hood County Animal Control, TX

Like This Page · February 20 · Edited · 

***RESCUED***

Nala is a spayed female DMH (Domestic Medium Hair) cat. She is approx 4 yrs old and she is declawed on all four paws. Nala has to been an indoor cat. She is super friendly and sweet. Her adoption fee is $25, which covers for a prepaid voucher to have her rabies vaccinated with one of out participating veterinarians office.

If interested in adopting or rescuing please contact us at 817-573-4277 or hcac@co.hood.tx.us

__________________________________________

                             She seems friendly. And the adoption fee is very cheap. For such a pretty kitty. That is already fixed and everything... I would only have to pay for the pet Deposit ($150)., and the adoption fee($25) and gas money of course to go get her... (I'ld figure $10 since it's in Hood...)

                              However,... that would total like $185.00. I think it might work out better than my attempts before, because adult cats tend to need less attention then the young kittens do. So I figure, maybe I'd have better luck with this one... But that is still alot to spend... just to... have someone to come home to...

                                    So... should I try for it?  . . . .  Or... should I let this opportunity pass, and just use that money for other things... that I probably do need just as much if not more?

                               I do so want a kitty. -_-,     ... But I don't know... *sigh* 😞


                         You people do know you can comment, right?
                                         It's the little link down below... that says "No Comments"  and below that there should be a box. You type the comment in there and hit 'Publish'  and your comment will be posted to my Blog...

                             Simple... really!


                                                                 ~ Crystal LM 😣😔😩😶✏

The Perils of Chronic Insomnia

                      Right. Well, that worked brilliantly well... *sarcastic sigh*

                     I've been taking the medication in the morning. And wouldn't you know it? I still can't sleep at night! In fact, I can't seem to sleep during the day either! O_o       WTF!?       I must have gotten at least 4 hours of sleep this morning (3:00AM-8:00AM) With tossing and turning before for at least a couple hours. Crimedy!

                     I'm tired, and I just don't think laying down will help anymore... bah! Screw sleep! [>_<#]

Well, maybe it's like the depression... awake for a few days, then sleep through two whole days...

😕...GAWD I sure hope so...😥

In other news, I've started another novel while I work on the revising of the first one. Stay tuned for a sneak preview coming soon.

Also,... at least I'll be able to get more done this way, right?  😳😶

- Back to work wit me den - >_<

~ Crystal LM 😴💨🙇💤

Scavenging.... One man's trash...

              Found me some pretty little treasures today, while scavenging. ^_^  That's what I call looking for stuff at the local food pantry that I go to. X-D    You'll never believe the beautiful stuff that some people just throw away!

               And the O.B. (Operation Blessing, non-for-profit org.) gives it away free!

               For examp....

              I was able to find this treasure there [^.^]


             

They just don't make books like this anymore... *shaking head*  And check out those dates! You know they've gotta be good!!

                      I'll have to take them with a grain a salt, of course... But... food always tastes better that way. (^_~`)

                       And now I understand that old adage, "Never judge a book by it's cover..." Seems the good ones, "Rembrant"  "Carnegie"  "Simon and Schuster" "Upton Sinclair" ect... are in the plain ordinary covers... while the ones with the fancy ones, "Steven King"... ect... are in covers that are meant to grab the reader's attention. And most of those ones are... well...
              ...mainstream crap!

              Gleee. Happy reading, y'all.


                                                                           ~ Crystal LM 😊😎📚📖📜📙

                 

Blessed Art Thou...

                       I just love this weather!! ^_^    Warm during the day, but not too hot. And cool at night. (^.^)  Hurray, Texas Spring Weather!!!

                         Must be why Clint always wore a pancho. Because it gets cool at night. And back then, it was alot cooler...

                           

Speaking of Clint....

💕😍...Swoon...😘💖

Ya, know... if I had my choice of any fictional character...

*sighing dreamily*

Somebody find me that man! **[*.*]**

~ Crystal LM ^_~*

Lolz

               

                   

                    I wonder if this actual ad that they posted back then, actually helped them. >_>  Hahaha. It's from the Yukon Territory 1902 or something like that. Anyways,...    I just love how the last two fellas are holding cats. ^_^  Tee hee. This IS my misses! (or as Mrs. Sloakum would say from 'Are You Being Served', "It (the bird) was just horrified when it caught sight of My Pussy!")  That always made me laugh. Awful... but hillarious.



                      It still kind of irritates me though... and I know I shouldn't... but... Every time I see a young girl with a child... this is the picture that pops into my head:

I know that people aren't dogs... but...

Why didn't you use birth control if you were... 

Anyhow, I guess some of us are just... careful? Or maybe lucky...

I guess that's enough funny nonsense for one day...

well...

maybe just one more... ^^

                    Toasty Warm Purrrrrrrrrrrrritos! Lol.

ok I'm done. :-P

~ Crystal LM 😻😸😹😁🙈🙉🙊

Gah! Maybe now I'll be able to sleep the night...

                   I'm not sure why, but the past few days, I've had trouble sleeping at night and couldn't stay awake during the day... I talked to my Therapist about it, and she gave me the idea to start taking the ulcer medication in the morning instead of at night. Apparently one of it's side effects is Chronic Insomnia. Which is weird cause it also says, may cause drowsiness... So that's why I thought of taking it before bed. But I haven't been able to sleep at night because of it. And during the day, like I said, I can't stay awake. So I'ma try taking it in the mornings. And see what happens. Hopefully, I'll feel better then. I really don't like this medication. But if I stop taking it, my stomach will hurt with every little thing I eat. [-_-']

                    Anyhow, my Japanese Chicken Wings turned out awesome! Tastes just like sesame chicken. -^.^-    

                                   I might be a sloth-like chronically ill hermit of a freak, but I can cook like nobodies business. . . . . when I've got the energy that is.  (^_~*)

                                                                       ~ Crystal LM 😞😕🍛🍲🍳😎🙏

...Alla my friends say, "It's Gonna Get Bet-ehr... Gonna Get Bet-ehr... Gonna Get Bet -ehr... Bet-ehr, Bet-ehr, Bether, Better, Better..."

...always one foot on the ground...

...I can be alone yeah, I can watch the sunset on my own, I can be alone yeah...

The Healing Power... of Nature

                    . . . . [-_-] Last night... I felt flu-ish again. I'm not entirely sure what is wrong with me... I only know that something is...

                     I went to the doctor yesterday. And I was feeling fine all day... until late into the evening... it came upon me!
                      I began to feel like crap again. Confused. Confounded. Achey. And tired. Oh so very weak and tired. I just don't understand it. Something is definitely wrong here. And for the life in me, I just can't figure it out. 😟      The doctor wants to check a few things. So I will be having my blood drawn soon. Which is good. I hope to God we can figure this out.

                 --

                     While I was at the doctor's office... I was listening to this woman and this man... talk about God. The man was trying to explain that God has a plan for everything... but the Woman complained to him. She told him, (out loud in front of everyone) that she simply could not believe in God. Because she had lost her son in death. And she was robbed of the chance to ever have grandchildren. She was too old to have another child. And the last apparently, of her family line. She cried that if God existed, why would he allow this to happen? That her family should die out like that? That no parent should have to watch their child go before them.
         The man was unable to respond in his case.

          He looked to me and explained that she had been through a lot in her life. Which is why she had no faith... A very outgoing bunch, I guess.

           Meanwhile, at the other end of the room, a woman sat with her beautiful young daughter and her daughter's own baby girl. The two seemed to be annoyed by the woman's story. And looked like they were gloating over it. I'll never understand why they were so angry at the woman. For suffering worse then them.
          While they acted like their problems were worse?
           What were they so mad about?
            The baby keeping them up at night?!?

           Some people...
                                         they just... don't make any sense at all!

            The people that have... they just aren't happy! Women have become selfish, money hungry, gold diggers. That simply aren't happy unless their being spoiled rotten... Forcing decent men into a kind of slavery! One man lamented that he was thinking of robbing banks soon. Because he couldn't keep up with his wife's demands... (that was... elsewhere.)

            And men... well...

             I did find my peace once again...
                                   moments before the flu returned upon me. . .

So I wrote this poem:

                       The Healing Gift

Dear God,

I pray before you.

Night and day,

I stand beside you.

I cannot reach out,

without the strength.

Feeble hands,

return to shake.

When will men,

seek lasting Love,

instead of their own pleasure?

When will they learn,

the boundless joys found in forever?

This one cries,

a thousand times.

For every forlorn child.

How she weeps,

upon the grass.

To heal from nature's refuge.

Breath in the brisk cool air.

And feel the wind upon the trees.

Upon the banks of a water's edge,

sleep soundly in relief.

The world can't hurt you anymore.

Not here,

not in this sacred place.

You hope in something,

you've never seen.

And stones which stand in place.

That there might exist a kindred soul.

Upon the furrowed ground.

Even one soo humble,

that the rest would run aground.

That you might find them.

Waiting here.

Looking out upon the grass...

Dreaming of angelic waters,

and of holding their precious one fast.

Seizing the sunset,

for the hope which it holds.

A hope for another day,

a hope that never grows old.

For even as faithful it is,

as the sun.

It will always return.

Return to bring hope to these ones.

And a healing,

to the grieved.

And relief to the sick.

And to hold onto something,

so precious,

as this.

It is an ancient gift.

From the creator above.

Sent by millions of years,

and eons of love.

~ 02-16-17

                                                                                       ~ Crystal LM 😢😷🍃

The Struggle is REAL

                  Why does it always seem like...

When you try to do what you know is right,

people have a way of making you feel bad about it?

Just because...

They're in the wrong...

'How I do miss the days of youth.

Cuddle warm,

Like sweet vermouth.'

I usually don't like to post about the bad stuff. About the hard times. About the rough times...

…. but I feel it necessary to keep... everyone informed on my conditions.

I think it's interesting... that... because I'm striving to do good,... that now is when I should begin to suffer the most.

And yeah. I could be over exaggerating... But these are all the facts...

Lately, my depression has been coming on me, sort of like The Flu! I've been achey. I've been tired. I've been down. I've been chronically fatigued... My head has felt heavy. And my eyes keep blurring out. On top of that, because I couldn't afford the good drinking water, it's like I have a sore throat now.

If it wasn't for the fact that I suffer from this mental illness... I would sumize that I was coming down with the Flu. But... I'm sure I would feel worse if it were that.

Besides this, battling the constant fatique is never ending. In attempts to get things done.

And each step I take...

is like...

taking two steps back.

I just found out. That I will need another $1,018 to get the rest of my teeth fixed.

I can't even afford to get the registration done on my car...

$1000.00!!

I almost want to say... Just let 'em rot...

But... that's the attitude that my father always had.

Besides all that, I'm still behind in paying my student loan from up north. I just haven't been able to afford it. I owe so much debt as it is. I've placed it in forebearance... so many times... I feel like,... at some point, they're going to demand I pay up. Sadly, it would have only been $50.00 had I been able to pay this month. But with my climbing bills and everything...

Each month it's sure to double.

As for my health. I really need the money to pursue that.

I simply cannot push myself through the fatigue, to manage a set exercise routine. I'm just not motivated enough, I guess. I feel as though... I've completely lost all ambition towards life. Like, I can't seem to get anywhere... so what's the point?

But if I could just afford the gas to go to the gym, (since I have free membership through my ins.) or if I could gain a decent pair of running shoes...

And though I know I need to make it priority one to get a job, I also know that with my depression and anxiety being at CRITICAL right now, I... need to proceed carefully.

The struggle is real.

Satan is also trying every method at his disposal to discourage me from striving to stay close to Jehovah.

I really don't even want to talk about some of the... dreams I've been having. This medication I'm on...

But I HAVE to take it! I found out the hard way, that if I don't my stomach will start to hurt with everything that I try to eat. I get bad acid reflux. And... if I eat too much of anything... well... the pain... …. there aren't really words to describe it. With depression ever hastened in it's wake.

Some days... after a rough night of... of feeling like crap... I'll wake up looking like I'ld been fist fighting all night! Like...

I really am fighting!

 

Black eyes 'n all!

Crazy.

But I can't help but feel completely and utterly and totally screwed!!!

Not only financially.

But physically... spiritually... and mentally/emotionally.

God in heaven! Give me strength!

And all I can seem to think about... is... are my relatives ok?

I'm sure that they are... but... I do worry about them. They haven't wrote in awhile. It just... I don't know. But it's been weighing on my mind lately. More than all this woe.

I know that most of my problems, are probably self-inflicted... I just... feel so...

Helpless... lost... and... dizzy from it all. From blow after blow. Wave after wave of this...

If I could just figure out... If I could just... just...

I don't know.

It's almost like repairing holes in a sinking ship.

You fix one, and then another starts to burst. You fix that one, and another one gives way. You bilge one deck of water, and another goes under. You succeed at clearing the water and debris from one level, and the other gets water logged!

And all the while you are battling the inevitable downfall of your precious baby, (the ship) you still haven't gotten a single inch closer to your overall goal.

In fact, in the confusion. It seems you've lost all sense of direction.

There's no way of telling if your going in the right direction, or not.

They say that a captain is supposed to go down with his ship...

But this captain...

Just wants to get off it! I'm ready to jump ship at this point! I just want to give up.

In my head, I keep saying, “I just want to go home.” I've always said that in my head for some reason. Even though I am home. *sob* 😢

And I used to say, “I just want to live.” But now it's more like, “I don't want to live anymore...” “I just want to go home.” “Or die trying.”

              In perhaps a futile attempt to end this post on a more positive note,...

At least my hair looks great.

  Mama would of loved these curls...

It loves conditioner. [^_^]


                                                                               ~ Crystal LM 😖😣😓💫😌

-*- The Majesty of the Heavens!! -*-

                  In order to... explain the awesomeness of "Star Trek Online"... I'ld have to show you!

                                 Besides just flying around the cosmos in a ship that travels faster than the speed of light... You can also beam down to planets, explore breathtaking nebulae, battle aliens, talk to new species, trade, barter, and craft... then beam back to your ship. You can even explore your own ships bridge! And check out the holodeck. ^_^

               Fascinating quests. Earn Dilithium. Mine Dilithium. (which powers the ships apparently). Earn cool looking ships with cool upgrades that are extremely fast! ... And more...

Build an impressive crew! Promote, demote, or make them learn new skills!

Modify your ship's exterior, interior, and weapons, shields, engines, ect...

That's my ship, there... The U.S.S. Carinthia! ^^ Exploring the Delta Volanis Cluster.

. . . You guys had me at "Hello". ^_~

~ Crystal LM 👽👾😄💨🚀🌟