Rejoice in the Hope - (Romans 12:12)

         When it comes to living with depression... You have to take things... One day at a time. [-_-']

And some days... are better than others.

I just wish that I could be happy. But here I am...

30 years old...

And nothing to show for...

Still feeling like a child.

Like Miranda I guess. But at least Miranda had a boyfriend...

 

                  sigh

How long does it take for someone to... get used to living alone?

It's been almost two years now! April 2015...

And I still don't feel like I'm cut out for this...

I still weep bitterly when I'm afraid.

I still wish I was dead, because of feelings of failure.

And I still feel like I'm not properly taking care of myself.

That's another thing Miranda had...

A mom.

Her mom was always popping in to check on her.

To try to help her out with things. Like all parents do I suppose.

Try to fix her up with someone. Or try to give advice about things.

She was fat... and not as pretty as I am... and she still had a better life then me. -_-,

She even had friends!

And people wonder why I get soo depressed.

No one ever gives me a chance.

It's a rather good thing, I guess.

That I don't own a gun. (9_9) [u_u,]

~ 02-03-17

            I had another nightmare about my dad last night. :-/   I guess it's because while I was in Michigan... I saw him do some things... Things that simply were not right... Horrible things. Right in front of me.

            In the dream, though, he was shooting up. Heroine I guess. Go* what a nightmare! At least in the dream he was trying to hide it from me... But it still makes me shiver.

           I guess that's why I don't care to talk about him much anymore. It just kind of makes me sad now...

--

           I found this inspirational quote on my phone today... Rather expresses exactly how I feel right now...

I always wake up hoping... that the new day will be better... than the old ones.

And to those I've left behind...

                    But as for me...

                I would also like to thank My Aunt for giving me those delicious English muffins (^_^).(Gluten Free English Muffins) Thats why every day starts out so good for me. (^.^)  Because I wake up, have a cup of hot coffee and an English muffin with butter and jam. And talk to Jehovah. Really starts the day on a positive note. ^^ Thank you.

~ Crystal LM 🙏😇☕🍮